1 00:00:33,728 --> 00:00:35,540 - I wish I had your face. 2 00:00:35,540 --> 00:00:37,200 - Well you haven't. 3 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,552 So tell Debbie what you want. 4 00:00:38,552 --> 00:00:40,110 I don't know what I want! 5 00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,890 - She has a lovely round face Debbie. 6 00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:43,642 But she doesn't need anything to exaggerated it. 7 00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:46,090 And she needs a color. 8 00:00:46,090 --> 00:00:47,780 - I like being gray. 9 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:50,040 - And don't listen to her when she says that. 10 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,367 It's a desperate lie and she's peddling it for years. 11 00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:53,440 - I don't want to go over the top. 12 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,123 - When's that ever happened? 13 00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:59,610 - My kids will think I'm mutton dressed as lamb. 14 00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:02,050 - Mutton dressed as lamb still looks like lamb, 15 00:01:02,050 --> 00:01:03,540 and that's have the battle. 16 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,440 - It's the entire war. 17 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,240 - From the horses mouth. 18 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,820 - Heather will think I'm absurd. 19 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:13,313 - It's not about your kids now Paul, they're grown up. 20 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:25,060 - The first thing to remember about a fire extinguisher 21 00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:27,150 is that it's not a toy. 22 00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:30,520 It might look big and red and full of fun, 23 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,180 but you must fight the urge to blast your family, 24 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,880 as they sit down to Sunday, 25 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,750 'cause you could take someones eye out. 26 00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:41,480 Now, when I find myself approaching a fire extinguisher, 27 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,613 I always tell myself to be serious, to be responsible. 28 00:01:46,861 --> 00:01:48,630 Bloody hell, who took the? 29 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,750 Who took the safety pin out of that? 30 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,440 - Do you think I'm the only woman 31 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,407 that has ever found my my Kevin attractive? 32 00:01:58,407 --> 00:01:59,240 - No, no. 33 00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:01,971 There was a blind school who he went out with for a while. 34 00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:04,390 She had terrible eye sight. 35 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,839 She had to wear an eye patch, didn't she Martin? 36 00:02:06,839 --> 00:02:07,699 - What, Kev's girlfriend, 37 00:02:07,699 --> 00:02:08,699 yeah. - Aww. 38 00:02:09,703 --> 00:02:12,720 He's not like your Charlie though is he. 39 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,620 Put's on that uniform, women hurl cat's up trees, 40 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,637 hoping he'll come round and rescue them. 41 00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:21,615 - Very nice. - Mm-hmm. 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,840 - When you actually find the one, 43 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,589 you feel so lucky. 44 00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:28,422 - Yep. 45 00:02:28,422 --> 00:02:29,420 I'm the lucky one. 46 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:31,060 - Because some people in the world 47 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:34,480 never have our kind of luck and they make do, 48 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,440 or they don't do. 49 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,470 And everyday I have to pinch myself 50 00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:42,540 that someone like Charlie could ever fall in love with me. 51 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:44,320 - But you're fantastic. 52 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,237 - Aww, we know that. 53 00:02:46,237 --> 00:02:49,610 But some people think because I'm a little bit older, 54 00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:51,350 it's four or five years actually, 55 00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:53,280 that I'm some kind of mother figure. 56 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,970 Which is nice. 57 00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:56,862 Get your feet off the coffee table. 58 00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:59,250 I'm joking! 59 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,083 I'm joking. 60 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,830 No, actually, get your feet off. 61 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,390 - Yeah, a smoke alarm is a fireman's best friend. 62 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,170 But 90% of deaths in house fires 63 00:03:13,170 --> 00:03:15,140 are cause by smoke inhalation. 64 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:18,751 So the correct installation of smoke alarms in your house 65 00:03:18,751 --> 00:03:19,825 are gonna save the lives 66 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,744 of the people that you love the most, your children. 67 00:03:28,995 --> 00:03:30,140 - Louise? 68 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,740 Heather McCallister. 69 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,390 Do you remember? 70 00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:36,250 I danced in a Flamenco competition at the sports center 71 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,150 last September. 72 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:37,983 - Yeah, hi. 73 00:03:37,983 --> 00:03:39,710 - Oh, I though you danced really well. 74 00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:40,620 - Thank you. 75 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:41,900 - Are you doing the competition 76 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,560 at the Guild Hall this Friday? 77 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,600 - You? 78 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,433 - I'll be there. 79 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,623 - This bloke is gorgeous isn't he? 80 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,450 - He's my husband. 81 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:52,000 - Yeah, but seriously. 82 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,373 - No, seriously. 83 00:03:54,621 --> 00:03:56,590 - He's not your Flamenco partner is he? 84 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:59,000 - No, he's not my Flamenco partner. 85 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,540 He's my husband. 86 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,803 - I've got leaflets here, and where best to site the alarms. 87 00:04:03,803 --> 00:04:05,700 And we're doing community initiative, 88 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,890 where we're offering free home visits 89 00:04:07,890 --> 00:04:09,180 to install the devices. 90 00:04:09,180 --> 00:04:11,040 - Is it Carl you dance with? 91 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,440 Is he your husband? 92 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,390 - No, Carl's as camp as a row of tents. 93 00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:16,180 No, I'm divorced. 94 00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:17,520 Good luck Friday, yeah. 95 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,365 - Thank you. 96 00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,509 Jealousy's odd isn't it? 97 00:04:28,509 --> 00:04:30,397 It's like you but isn't you. 98 00:04:30,397 --> 00:04:32,060 It's like that thing in "Alien" 99 00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:33,790 that just bursts out of your stomach 100 00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:36,130 and looks around for a bit, snarly and-- 101 00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:37,880 - Yeah, and everyone can see it. 102 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,100 - Exactly. 103 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,770 You were have a perfectly pleasant breakfast 104 00:04:40,770 --> 00:04:43,213 with all the other astronauts and suddenly it's. 105 00:04:53,413 --> 00:04:54,977 - Family meeting please. 106 00:04:54,977 --> 00:04:57,480 Family meeting before you leave. 107 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,710 Will all member's of the Paradise family 108 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:03,920 please join me here at Fire Tender 2. 109 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,357 Heather! 110 00:05:05,357 --> 00:05:06,370 - What is it Kev? 111 00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:07,203 - Mom and dad, 112 00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:08,380 what are we gonna do about getting them back together? 113 00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,070 - Have any of you actually talked to your mom 114 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:11,340 since you grandad's funeral? 115 00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:12,700 - No, she turned her mobile off. 116 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:13,750 - I rang Auntie Rowan's house, 117 00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:14,612 but she wouldn't come to the phone. 118 00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:15,710 - Why is mom doing this? 119 00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:16,543 Why is she ruining our lives? 120 00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:18,320 - Put the microphone down. 121 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,870 - Are you cooking for your dad? 122 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,540 - Yeah, but he's just fixing his cars 123 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:22,660 and going down the pub. 124 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:23,740 He ain't mentioned her once. 125 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,960 - Why are we trying to fix things? 126 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:25,990 Why don't we just let your parents 127 00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:27,000 sort it out for themselves? - Right, I've got a plan. 128 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,710 So just shut up everyone. - Don't talk to 129 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:29,543 Michelle like that! 130 00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:30,376 - We've got to make sure 131 00:05:30,376 --> 00:05:31,890 they're both coming to Joseph's birthday. 132 00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:32,880 Are they coming Martin? 133 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,340 - Yeah, they should be, yeah. 134 00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:36,060 - Did you enjoy your lovely little chat? 135 00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:37,370 - Who with? - who with? 136 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,450 - She said she danced Flamenco with you. 137 00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:41,400 - And did she book in to have her alarms installed? 138 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,233 - Yes. - Well I hope 139 00:05:42,233 --> 00:05:43,066 you're not gonna do it! 140 00:05:43,066 --> 00:05:44,477 - Not if you don't want me Heater, no. 141 00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,510 And did she tell you she's divorced? 142 00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:47,540 - What? - what? 143 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,960 - Heather, can we not turn this into the Jeremy Kyle Show? 144 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,850 We've already got estranged couple in the family, 145 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,080 I can't cope with two. 146 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,550 We've got to come up with a plan! 147 00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:55,720 - You said you had! 148 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:56,620 - Okay, yeah. 149 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,390 I saw this work once in a Quintin Tarantino movie. 150 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,380 I tell dad that mom's missing him. 151 00:06:01,380 --> 00:06:02,920 H, you tell mom the same. 152 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,160 They'll both think the others given first 153 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,400 and before you know, 154 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,373 they'll be in Las Vegas renewing their vowels. 155 00:06:07,373 --> 00:06:08,206 - Vowels. - Sorry, 156 00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:09,287 which Tarantino movies this? 157 00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:10,870 - Let it go. 158 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,787 - Is your mom definitely coming to the party? 159 00:06:12,787 --> 00:06:14,250 - Of course she's coming, 160 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,420 she's never missed of he grandchildren's birthdays. 161 00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:17,390 - Turn it off! 162 00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,643 - It's the sort of thing that would kill her! 163 00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:19,834 Turn it off! 164 00:06:36,913 --> 00:06:40,863 - Did I buy Joseph a space hopper last year? 165 00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,100 Oh, oh, oh. 166 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,660 - Have you turned into a monkey? 167 00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:47,820 - You'd look fantastic in that. 168 00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,010 - No, Rowan, I wouldn't. 169 00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:50,050 I'd look like you. 170 00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:53,180 - You've never let me shop for you have you? 171 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,478 If I'd done your shopping for your entire adult life, 172 00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:57,088 we wouldn't be in the state your in now. 173 00:06:57,088 --> 00:06:58,590 - Ow. - In your anorak 174 00:06:58,590 --> 00:06:59,930 and your yogurt down the front. 175 00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:01,390 And youre casual trousers 176 00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:03,364 that would disgrace a French lesbian. 177 00:07:03,364 --> 00:07:05,278 - Code red, code red, look! 178 00:07:05,278 --> 00:07:07,626 - Bloody hell, bloody hell! 179 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:08,626 Run for it! 180 00:07:08,626 --> 00:07:09,459 - What is it? 181 00:07:09,459 --> 00:07:10,417 - Just run for it. 182 00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:11,912 Leave the shopping. - What is it? 183 00:07:11,912 --> 00:07:13,903 - Quick, it's Tommy's wife. 184 00:07:13,903 --> 00:07:15,210 Quick! 185 00:07:15,210 --> 00:07:16,350 - We've got these signals, 186 00:07:16,350 --> 00:07:18,270 a kind of code for the kept woman. 187 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:20,500 Code blue is he's free all weekend. 188 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,536 Hang on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride. 189 00:07:23,369 --> 00:07:25,550 Well it is, that's what it amounts to. 190 00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:26,760 - Green is. 191 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:27,910 - I'm out to pasture. 192 00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:29,260 - I'm unable to see you. 193 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:31,907 - And red is panic, the wife's around. 194 00:07:31,907 --> 00:07:35,201 - And you should panic, the thing she's said about you. 195 00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:36,034 I think in another life 196 00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:38,440 she may of had bunny boiler tendencies. 197 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,190 - I'm sure she's a very nice women. 198 00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,050 - Arms good. 199 00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:53,200 Arms are much improved. 200 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,263 Rhythm, rhythm, look at me. 201 00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:09,030 Heather! 202 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,337 - I am looking at ya! 203 00:08:10,337 --> 00:08:12,380 - No, look at me with red hot desire. 204 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,810 I wanna see lust in every part of you're body, 205 00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:16,488 popping out of fleece. 206 00:08:16,488 --> 00:08:18,170 Ashley! 207 00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:21,433 I'm a married women, you can't talk to me like that. 208 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,290 Ashley's the marketing manager of the club, 209 00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:31,210 and he's the one who got me into Flamenco. 210 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:34,430 - And he dresses up as the club mascot on match days. 211 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,170 Sky Blue Sam. 212 00:08:36,170 --> 00:08:39,580 - And occasionally he'll combine both his passions 213 00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:42,663 and Sam will do a bit of Flamenco on the touchline 214 00:08:42,663 --> 00:08:44,553 in hour of the Spanish left back. 215 00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:51,247 - Oh, he's lovely though isn't he? 216 00:08:53,045 --> 00:08:53,878 Here. 217 00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:56,330 I was in the dentist once. 218 00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:57,460 - Only once? 219 00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:59,350 - No, but was a few years ago 220 00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:02,920 and there's a article in a magazine that haunts me. 221 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,579 - About teeth? 222 00:09:04,579 --> 00:09:06,120 - No. - No. 223 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,260 They'd taken pictures of 10 couples on their wedding day, 224 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,830 cut the photos down the middle. 225 00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:14,950 Gave the bride photos to 100 and the grooms to 100 women 226 00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:18,190 and ask them who thought the most attractive. 227 00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:20,290 It ranked them one to 10 228 00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:24,450 and the couples completely matched up. 229 00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:25,637 10's have married the 10's 230 00:09:25,637 --> 00:09:27,390 and the one's had got stuck with each other. 231 00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:31,413 - Oh, I think I'd be a four. 232 00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:33,233 - I think Charlie would be a nine. 233 00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:36,940 And I think I'm a six, maybe six and a half 234 00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:38,730 when I wear Monsoon trouser suit. 235 00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:40,180 - Heather, you are... 236 00:09:41,577 --> 00:09:42,410 - What? 237 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:46,753 - You are a very handsome woman. 238 00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:53,243 What did I say? 239 00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:54,750 - You say the would handsome to a woman, 240 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,670 it means you think she looks like a horse. 241 00:09:57,670 --> 00:09:59,750 - Then I meant stunning. 242 00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:01,750 I meant surprisingly attractive. 243 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,610 Okay, you and Charlie 244 00:10:03,610 --> 00:10:05,600 are the most in love couple I've ever met. 245 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,500 I can't imagine a couple 246 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:10,073 more perfect for each other than you two. 247 00:10:31,928 --> 00:10:33,530 Senorita. 248 00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:34,610 - If I turn the lights out, 249 00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:36,385 I can get my arm positions right in the window. 250 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,218 - That's fine, that's fine. 251 00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:39,246 I often dress up myself, turn the lights. 252 00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:41,593 When you're out the flat. 253 00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:44,015 - Turn 'em out, come on, give it a go. 254 00:10:44,015 --> 00:10:45,287 - No. - Please. 255 00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:47,671 - No. - Please dance we me Charlie. 256 00:10:47,671 --> 00:10:48,504 Just once. 257 00:10:49,728 --> 00:10:51,848 Come on. - All right. 258 00:10:51,848 --> 00:10:52,681 Wait. 259 00:10:57,751 --> 00:10:59,607 - All right. - All right. 260 00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:00,440 What do I do? 261 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,320 - Right, stand like this, your arms like this. 262 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,410 And think think Spanish. 263 00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:07,320 - Right, Thinking about paella. 264 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,076 - Now do this. 265 00:11:11,616 --> 00:11:12,634 - My nose. 266 00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:13,467 - Are you all right? 267 00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:16,618 - I will never be able to play the kazoo again. 268 00:11:16,618 --> 00:11:21,618 Ooh. 269 00:11:23,748 --> 00:11:25,653 Heather. 270 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,033 - Why not? 271 00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:33,340 - Okay. 272 00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,460 - Let me get out of this dress. 273 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,350 - No, the dress is great. 274 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,660 Keep the dress on. 275 00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:38,493 - Why? 276 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:40,940 - No reason. 277 00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:43,140 - 'Cause you can imagine I'm someone else? 278 00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:45,320 Louise, little tits, Anderson maybe? 279 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,020 After she's won the cup on Friday. 280 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:48,733 - Heather. 281 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:49,566 - What? 282 00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:00,074 Hi! 283 00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:02,660 Where is he? 284 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,410 Where's my Joey? 285 00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:06,260 Happy birthday sweetness. 286 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,640 - Hey, what do ya say Joe? 287 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,930 - Can I open them? 288 00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:10,594 No, you say think you. 289 00:12:10,594 --> 00:12:11,677 Hiya Dad, you all right? 290 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:13,550 - When's nanny coming with my present Grandpa? 291 00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,089 - Joe. - Don't know love. 292 00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:16,354 We've got a trampoline! 293 00:12:16,354 --> 00:12:17,751 We've got a trampoline! 294 00:12:17,751 --> 00:12:19,533 - It's not up yet. 295 00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:21,533 - Let's go outside - Yay! 296 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,326 - Is Charlie here? 297 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,159 - No. 298 00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:26,576 - He isn't? - No. 299 00:12:28,529 --> 00:12:29,899 Hiya. 300 00:12:35,741 --> 00:12:37,100 - How long have you been dancing? 301 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,203 - Oh, about five years. 302 00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:42,215 Have you ever though about taking it up? 303 00:12:42,215 --> 00:12:44,030 No, it's not my thing. 304 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:44,863 I like my sport. 305 00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:47,083 I like doing my radio show, I like my job. 306 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,402 - There's not a inner Spaniard inside of you 307 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,709 bursting to get out? 308 00:12:50,709 --> 00:12:53,634 - There is, but he wants to play Barcelona, 309 00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:56,630 not prance around with a pair a pair of maracas. 310 00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:58,380 - You should definitely be dancing. 311 00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:01,387 - Is it the second on on the landing? 312 00:13:01,387 --> 00:13:02,220 - Yeah. 313 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:06,824 There's a beer in the fridge if you want one? 314 00:13:06,824 --> 00:13:09,176 - Aye, thanks. 315 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,860 - Did you tell mom what we planned? 316 00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,080 - She ain't answering her phone Kev, 317 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,147 I thought I'd talk to her her. 318 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,720 - Kev told Dad she was missing him, he didn't say anything. 319 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,660 - I said she'd bought a shotgun 320 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:24,980 and was thinking of shooting herself. 321 00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,270 - Well that's neither true nor helpful Kevin. 322 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:27,328 - Why sugarcoat the thing? 323 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:28,549 - Auntie Heather, Auntie Heather. 324 00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:29,621 Our trampolines up, 325 00:13:29,621 --> 00:13:30,752 can we go on it now? - What did dad say 326 00:13:30,752 --> 00:13:31,585 when he said that? 327 00:13:31,585 --> 00:13:32,418 - Just said pass me spanner, 328 00:13:32,418 --> 00:13:33,991 started putting the trampoline up. 329 00:13:33,991 --> 00:13:35,567 - Look Daddy! - Do you think she'll come? 330 00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:36,400 Daddy look at my present! 331 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,500 Don't answer the phone, this is serious! 332 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,700 - It's mom. - Oh my god! 333 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:40,883 Kids, out now! 334 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,090 It's mom on the phone. - Mom? 335 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,250 - Is he there? 336 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,900 - Yeah, dad's here. 337 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:49,140 And he's missing you terribly mom, 338 00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:51,500 he's all over the place. 339 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,220 He's bought a trampoline 340 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:54,660 and he's been putting it up for the kids. 341 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:55,820 - I got the trampoline. 342 00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:57,763 - Sorry, Kev got that. - We got that? 343 00:13:57,763 --> 00:13:59,140 - Shh. - How much was it. 344 00:13:59,140 --> 00:14:00,920 - Cheap one, but safe. 345 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,950 - Are you gonna come over mom? 346 00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:04,970 - Did he get Joseph a present? 347 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,170 - Did dad get a present? 348 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,090 - Yeah, he got him Roald Dahl book. 349 00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:13,650 Look, we're all her mom, are you gonna come over? 350 00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:15,573 Dad said he'd love to talk to ya. 351 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,430 - Give Joe my love. 352 00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:27,140 I can always tell when heather's lying, 353 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,520 she touches her nose. 354 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,920 - You can tell them on the phone? 355 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,480 - He just assumes I would get present, 356 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,453 like I've got every present for the last 40 years. 357 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,506 - We should still go to the party. 358 00:14:38,506 --> 00:14:39,339 - Why? 359 00:14:39,339 --> 00:14:41,010 - 'Cause Joseph will be upset. 360 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,860 - It's good you've done this Paul. 361 00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:45,170 Life will get better for you now you've left him. 362 00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:46,600 - Now I've left my husband. 363 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,060 - You've left a world of pain honey, not a man. 364 00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:51,980 And it's been difficult to watch you down the years. 365 00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,310 This is the first time we're going to get drunk together 366 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,490 for 40 years, so take you jacket off 367 00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:58,970 and let's find a Tom Hank's movie, 368 00:14:58,970 --> 00:15:01,746 and stare at his buttocks! 369 00:15:06,550 --> 00:15:08,503 - Hey, Nathan, give us a spin. 370 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,646 What's wrong with you, you moody sod? 371 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,481 - You all right? 372 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,810 - I'm off the rugby tour to France. 373 00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:16,643 - What? 374 00:15:16,643 --> 00:15:18,530 - They say dad hasn't paid. 375 00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:20,990 - Kevin, you said you'd written cheque! 376 00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:22,570 - I did! - Well you haven't paid Dad. 377 00:15:22,570 --> 00:15:24,370 - Nathan, I wrote the cheque, I promise. 378 00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:25,470 So why am I off the tour then? 379 00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:26,990 - Because it must of bounced, but I still wrote it. 380 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,610 It'll be fine, Sarah, fine. 381 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:29,443 - How? 382 00:15:29,443 --> 00:15:31,690 - Because I promised him he'd go and he'll go. 383 00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:32,710 Why the black look? - How much 384 00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:33,630 was that trampoline? 385 00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:35,203 - Did you see that black look? 386 00:15:45,302 --> 00:15:46,700 - Hmm. - Why is no one missing 387 00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,390 Grandpa Frank? 388 00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:49,223 - They are Scarlet. 389 00:15:49,223 --> 00:15:51,730 - It's the first birthday any of us have ever had 390 00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:53,610 where's he's not scoffed all the best sandwiches 391 00:15:53,610 --> 00:15:55,260 and no ones even mentioned him. 392 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,870 It's like no one mentions my mom. 393 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:58,970 Do people just forget them? 394 00:15:58,970 --> 00:16:02,000 - Well, this week it's Joe's birthday. 395 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,390 And last week your Auntie Pauline 396 00:16:03,390 --> 00:16:05,866 had a barney with your Uncle Ken. 397 00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:08,000 Life goes on, it doesn't mean that people 398 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,913 that used to be here aren't missed. 399 00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:13,780 - When are you gonna talk to mom? 400 00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:17,223 Dad! 401 00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:19,533 - She'll be back. 402 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:21,097 - You don't know that. 403 00:16:21,097 --> 00:16:23,000 Don't you think maybe you should do something 404 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,963 to show her how much she means to ya? 405 00:16:27,013 --> 00:16:28,840 - I don't do flowers. 406 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,760 - Well, what do you do? 407 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,100 Because she's not psychic. 408 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:36,750 A women needs to be shown how much she's loved, Dad. 409 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:37,950 That's she's thought of. 410 00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:43,037 - Here you are. - Where have you been? 411 00:16:43,037 --> 00:16:44,170 - Oh, just for a run. 412 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,140 - Why didn't you text? 413 00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:46,300 - I did, didn't I? 414 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,446 - No. 415 00:16:47,446 --> 00:16:49,110 I thought you'd go straight to the radio station. 416 00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:50,510 - No, I've got half an hour. 417 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,160 - Come on Charlie, five-a-side man. 418 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,097 - Kev, know that money that went missing from the rugby club 419 00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:02,600 the night of the quiz? 420 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,660 - Yeah? 421 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:06,350 - Garry said that some prat's returned it in and envelope. 422 00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:09,346 With, sorry, written letters cut out of a newspaper. 423 00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:11,340 - Sounds like somebody's been to many films. 424 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:14,440 Yeah, crap films. 425 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,699 Hey. 426 00:17:15,699 --> 00:17:16,943 Here, Charlie, charlie. 427 00:17:17,968 --> 00:17:19,527 Ha ha, cool. 428 00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:30,205 Come on! 429 00:17:41,596 --> 00:17:43,810 - In all your years Paulie, Paul. 430 00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:46,160 Do you think kinetic Ken's every strayed? 431 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,940 - No. - You sure? 432 00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:51,500 - Well, he fancied a barmaid down the Hare and Squirrel 433 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,970 for a couple of years. 434 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:55,090 I used to lie awake, 435 00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:57,790 listening to him talking about her in his sleep. 436 00:17:57,790 --> 00:18:02,015 And he'd say, "Ruth, get off!" 437 00:18:04,137 --> 00:18:06,020 - And have you strayed? 438 00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:07,800 - When would I have the time? 439 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:08,700 - But you're free. 440 00:18:10,076 --> 00:18:12,594 Have you done this because you're seeing someone. 441 00:18:15,176 --> 00:18:16,440 - No, no. 442 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,911 But there might be someone. 443 00:18:18,911 --> 00:18:20,250 Who? 444 00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:21,985 He gave me a poem. 445 00:18:21,985 --> 00:18:23,960 He gave you a poem? 446 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,110 - Yeah, and he's a widower. 447 00:18:26,110 --> 00:18:29,150 He's name is Peter Bachman. 448 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,290 - Bachman. 449 00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:33,490 - He's a teacher and he gave me a book when I retired, 450 00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,370 with his number in it. 451 00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,890 - The randy goat. - No. 452 00:18:37,890 --> 00:18:39,218 - Oh yes! - No. 453 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,044 Oh yes! 454 00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:42,780 - Randy Bachman! 455 00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:43,613 We're gonna get some more wine 456 00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:46,430 and we're gonna poetry book with the secret number. 457 00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:47,581 - I'm not ringing him up. 458 00:18:47,581 --> 00:18:49,664 - We most certainly are! - No! 459 00:18:53,195 --> 00:18:54,028 - Hey, hey. 460 00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:56,200 A car just pulled up in the drive. 461 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,693 - Well, it won't be Tommy. 462 00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:00,390 - The bunny boiler. 463 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,411 It's Tommy's wife. 464 00:19:01,411 --> 00:19:04,078 - Oh my god, code red, code red. 465 00:19:07,534 --> 00:19:08,650 - What happened? 466 00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:09,615 - She don't wanna see us. 467 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:12,731 Give us your keys, Scarl, had enough of this. 468 00:19:12,731 --> 00:19:13,752 - And me. 469 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:25,001 ow! 470 00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:25,834 - What's going on? 471 00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:27,850 What are you crazy cats up to? 472 00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:30,017 Are you drunk? 473 00:19:32,591 --> 00:19:34,534 - There's something different about you. 474 00:19:34,534 --> 00:19:35,867 - It's her hair. 475 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,395 - Do you like it? 476 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:40,920 - It doesn't look like you? 477 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,023 - Yeah, it's lovely. 478 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,920 - Can we just say one thing, Mom? 479 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,070 Which is that we love you and we'll upset too 480 00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,690 that Grandpa Frank died. 481 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,280 And we're sorry that we didn't think about 482 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,710 what you were going through when it happened, 483 00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:55,140 but it's not because we don't love ya. 484 00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:57,180 With all hearts. 485 00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:58,013 - Thank you. 486 00:19:58,013 --> 00:19:59,063 - I love you too Martin. - All right. 487 00:19:59,063 --> 00:20:00,200 - And You H. 488 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,980 And you Auntie-- - Concentrate Kevin. 489 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:05,640 - But I'm not going back to your dad. 490 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,170 - Is there someone else Mom? 491 00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:09,550 'Cause I think we'd all understand it more if there was. 492 00:20:09,550 --> 00:20:10,520 - I wouldn't. 493 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,610 - Yeah, but you'd try though. 494 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:12,840 - No, I wouldn't. 495 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,360 - Well, maybe there is. 496 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:16,193 - Who? 497 00:20:16,193 --> 00:20:17,660 - And maybe's she's going to ring him up 498 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:18,960 and see if this weekend. 499 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,400 - It's just that, maybe's there's something new out there 500 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,780 that might be better for me. 501 00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:24,920 - This is ridiculous. 502 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,430 Who cares if there's someone out there more suited to ya. 503 00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:30,030 What does that mean anyway? 504 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,260 - H. - Why are you looking 505 00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,400 at someone else? 506 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:33,400 - Because I want to. 507 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:36,780 - Why don't you care about your husband? 508 00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:38,850 The man you've committed to. 509 00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:41,260 Or don't you care about what he wants? 510 00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:43,430 - Because I've done that for years. 511 00:20:43,430 --> 00:20:45,693 Now I need to put my myself first, H. 512 00:20:47,410 --> 00:20:48,510 - This is frightening. 513 00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:51,243 - H, Heather! 514 00:20:58,001 --> 00:20:59,331 - Who want's a cup of tea? 515 00:20:59,331 --> 00:21:00,831 Uh, yeah. 516 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,009 - Do you want me to put the recycling out the front? 517 00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:10,009 - Erm, yeah. 518 00:21:12,189 --> 00:21:13,689 - Ooh, so helpful. 519 00:21:15,037 --> 00:21:16,870 - What that all about? 520 00:21:37,677 --> 00:21:39,315 Welcome back to Late Night Banter, 521 00:21:39,315 --> 00:21:44,315 with me, Charlie-- 522 00:21:56,058 --> 00:21:58,394 Hiya, you're through to Louise Anderson. 523 00:21:58,394 --> 00:22:00,463 Please leave a message after the tone. 524 00:22:00,463 --> 00:22:01,296 Thank you. 525 00:22:07,980 --> 00:22:09,370 - My biggest fear? 526 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:10,610 - Oh, this'll be interesting. 527 00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:15,150 - My biggest fear, I suppose, is not being happy. 528 00:22:17,810 --> 00:22:18,923 Whatever that entails. 529 00:22:21,060 --> 00:22:24,150 And I think that you are unhappy, 530 00:22:24,150 --> 00:22:27,223 then you owe it to yourself to change things. 531 00:22:29,020 --> 00:22:31,268 Louise Anderson? 532 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:33,100 - I just put the phone down. 533 00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:34,760 Had this big speech in my head. 534 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,530 I was gonna refer to Camilla Parker-Bowles 535 00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:39,140 and Imogen Thomas and Kristen Stewart. 536 00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,540 But it was 25 minutes long, 537 00:22:40,540 --> 00:22:42,470 and in the shock of actually hearing it was her, 538 00:22:42,470 --> 00:22:44,500 I panicked and couldn't remember how it started. 539 00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:47,300 - Little pigeon breasted, plain faced, Louise Anderson? 540 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:50,350 - She is exactly his type, Ashley. 541 00:22:50,350 --> 00:22:52,240 She's pretty. - Oh, come on. 542 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,260 - Oh, she is really pretty, Ashley. 543 00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:57,230 And she's sexy, in sport center kind of way. 544 00:22:57,230 --> 00:22:59,560 And she's nice, and threatening. 545 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,513 And she's fertile. 546 00:23:02,845 --> 00:23:04,020 - Do you really think something happened? 547 00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:07,180 I don't know. 548 00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:09,670 Maybe it was just an innocent fire prevention visit, 549 00:23:09,670 --> 00:23:10,970 I believe they can happen. 550 00:23:12,130 --> 00:23:13,770 - But you see, if it's her now, 551 00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:16,160 it's gonna be someone, at some point. 552 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,790 Jealousy don't come from nowhere. 553 00:23:17,790 --> 00:23:19,940 It comes because you feel threatened, 554 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:22,150 and you feel threatened because there's a threat. 555 00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:25,680 And the reason jealousy is so painful is because 556 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,590 it's a alarm that is insisting you wake up to that threat 557 00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:29,790 and don't sleep through. 558 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,047 - Was that part of your speech? 559 00:23:33,047 --> 00:23:35,360 - It was towards the end, yeah. 560 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,970 - Good you kept it to yourself then. 561 00:23:37,970 --> 00:23:40,990 Talk to charlie. - But he'll lie. 562 00:23:40,990 --> 00:23:41,940 Already there lies. 563 00:23:43,030 --> 00:23:46,090 And now, he's gonna see me humiliated by her in your stupid 564 00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,069 dance competition. - Hey look! 565 00:23:48,069 --> 00:23:51,030 We are gonna win that. 566 00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:54,981 You get your arms right, we're better than last year. 567 00:23:54,981 --> 00:23:58,740 She'll live with some snaky hipped gay guy 568 00:23:58,740 --> 00:23:59,663 and I'll be clumping around with a man 569 00:23:59,663 --> 00:24:01,200 who spends half his life dressed 570 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,350 as an eight foot elephant. 571 00:24:04,350 --> 00:24:07,173 I really want him to see me win it Ashley. 572 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:16,980 What do say? 573 00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:18,740 - You say, "Hello." 574 00:24:18,740 --> 00:24:20,190 and you ask him if he'd like to see the film 575 00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:23,059 and you ask him to come round, pick you up. 576 00:24:23,059 --> 00:24:25,254 - I want to over egg the hand of friendship. 577 00:24:25,254 --> 00:24:27,249 - No, that be sticky. 578 00:24:27,249 --> 00:24:28,992 But he can still come and pick you up. 579 00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:33,440 - Why am I doing this? 580 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,340 - Because you're going forward sweetheart, not going back. 581 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,898 Hello. 582 00:24:39,898 --> 00:24:41,307 - Is he a looker? 583 00:24:43,265 --> 00:24:45,430 - Hello. - Hello. 584 00:24:45,430 --> 00:24:47,260 - Hello. - Hello. 585 00:24:47,260 --> 00:24:49,850 - Hello. - That's not the only thing 586 00:24:49,850 --> 00:24:51,280 you say. 587 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,350 - Mr. Bachman? - Pauline? 588 00:24:54,350 --> 00:24:56,287 - Yes. - How nice to hear from you. 589 00:24:57,620 --> 00:24:59,127 - This may sound odd, 590 00:24:59,127 --> 00:25:01,666 but I'm no longer living with my husband. 591 00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,640 - You don't have to say that. 592 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,870 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 593 00:25:05,870 --> 00:25:10,007 - Peter, I was wondering if you'd like to see a film? 594 00:25:10,007 --> 00:25:12,320 "The Great Gatsby". 595 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,863 You know, from the book. 596 00:25:16,170 --> 00:25:18,797 Hello. - Don't start all that again. 597 00:25:18,797 --> 00:25:21,477 - I'd love to see the film with you. 598 00:25:22,625 --> 00:25:23,824 Shall we say tomorrow? 599 00:25:23,824 --> 00:25:25,074 - Tomorrow? 600 00:25:25,074 --> 00:25:25,907 Yes. 601 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:38,995 - Tea. 602 00:25:41,110 --> 00:25:41,943 Dad. 603 00:25:41,943 --> 00:25:44,083 Thank you. 604 00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:46,250 - Just on the off chance that you're bothered. 605 00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:50,640 Mom's had her hair done and is off on a date tomorrow night. 606 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,480 With a man who Martin said has wooed her with poetry 607 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,513 and, no doubt, will progress to flowers. 608 00:25:57,513 --> 00:25:59,493 The phone is on the tray. 609 00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:02,850 Could be a window cleaner 610 00:26:02,850 --> 00:26:04,033 and do the local streets. 611 00:26:04,033 --> 00:26:04,866 - Oh no, no, no. 612 00:26:04,866 --> 00:26:06,610 They protect themselves with guns and knives that lot, 613 00:26:06,610 --> 00:26:07,443 they're mafia. 614 00:26:07,443 --> 00:26:08,276 - Window cleaners 615 00:26:08,276 --> 00:26:09,109 have a mafia? 616 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:10,294 - Yeah. - Hello. 617 00:26:11,801 --> 00:26:12,634 All right. 618 00:26:12,634 --> 00:26:13,467 One second. 619 00:26:13,467 --> 00:26:14,450 - Hey, Charlie, don't leave us. 620 00:26:14,450 --> 00:26:15,540 - Yeah, why you leaving us Charlie? 621 00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,010 - Who is she? - It's H? 622 00:26:17,010 --> 00:26:17,843 - It's H? 623 00:26:17,843 --> 00:26:18,812 You touch my sister, 624 00:26:18,812 --> 00:26:20,190 you touch me. - Come back again Charlie! 625 00:26:20,190 --> 00:26:21,426 - I want her dead! 626 00:26:21,426 --> 00:26:22,259 You know. 627 00:26:22,259 --> 00:26:23,283 - Hello. 628 00:26:23,283 --> 00:26:24,730 - I heard you program last night. 629 00:26:24,730 --> 00:26:25,563 - Oh, poor you. 630 00:26:25,563 --> 00:26:26,396 Have you recovered? 631 00:26:26,396 --> 00:26:27,472 - You were really funny at times. 632 00:26:27,472 --> 00:26:28,343 - At times? 633 00:26:28,343 --> 00:26:29,480 Only at times? 634 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,300 - Well, you weren't funny during the news. 635 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:32,133 That wasn't funny. 636 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:33,350 - I know, the news is poor. 637 00:26:33,350 --> 00:26:35,240 Louise, the weather's sometimes hilarious, 638 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,073 but never the news. 639 00:26:36,073 --> 00:26:37,523 - Did you get my text? 640 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,200 - I did, yeah. 641 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,893 - Charlie, one of my alarms isn't working. 642 00:26:43,744 --> 00:26:46,530 - Okay, have you checked the battery? 643 00:26:46,530 --> 00:26:48,710 - Yeah, I've changed that yeah. 644 00:26:48,710 --> 00:26:52,370 - Okay, well, it's probably more serious 645 00:26:52,370 --> 00:26:55,970 and we can pop along and change it. 646 00:26:55,970 --> 00:26:57,980 - Okay. - This Saturday? 647 00:26:57,980 --> 00:26:59,638 Midday? - Yeah. 648 00:26:59,638 --> 00:27:01,770 - I'll put that in the book. 649 00:27:01,770 --> 00:27:02,728 - Okay. 650 00:27:02,728 --> 00:27:04,040 Bye, bye, bye, bye. 651 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:04,873 - Bye. 652 00:27:15,310 --> 00:27:16,800 - Oh, thanks for looking this out Scarlet, 653 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,110 but are they Spanish enough? 654 00:27:19,110 --> 00:27:21,300 They're sexy, but are the Spanish? 655 00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:22,280 - Oh, I know what I've got got, 656 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,580 and they're from Madrid airport. 657 00:27:23,580 --> 00:27:24,840 - Oh, find, find. 658 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,060 - They are genuine Spanish tat. 659 00:27:27,060 --> 00:27:29,710 - Oh, that's bound to impress the judges, subconsciously. 660 00:27:29,710 --> 00:27:30,740 Won't it. 661 00:27:30,740 --> 00:27:32,540 Oh, Charlie's gotta see me win this. 662 00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:39,893 Is this your mom? 663 00:27:42,342 --> 00:27:43,175 - Yeah. 664 00:27:44,312 --> 00:27:46,143 - You been looking for her online? 665 00:27:47,015 --> 00:27:47,863 - A bit. 666 00:27:49,150 --> 00:27:50,352 Please don't tell my gran. 667 00:27:50,352 --> 00:27:52,680 - Oh no, of course. 668 00:27:54,610 --> 00:27:56,213 - Oh, earrings! 669 00:27:56,213 --> 00:27:57,392 - Let's have a look. 670 00:27:57,392 --> 00:27:59,615 Oh, thank you! 671 00:27:59,615 --> 00:28:01,032 They are perfect! 672 00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:05,123 What do you think? 673 00:28:11,293 --> 00:28:13,610 - Are you all right? - Why shouldn't I be? 674 00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,330 Apart from the weirdness of being with my mom, 675 00:28:15,330 --> 00:28:17,780 who's taken her wedding ring off to go on a date. 676 00:28:26,980 --> 00:28:28,240 - You must be Peter. - Yes. 677 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,310 Well, come in, come in. 678 00:28:29,310 --> 00:28:30,600 I'm Rowan, the sister. 679 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,520 - Pleased to meet you. 680 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,390 Hello Pauline. 681 00:28:32,390 --> 00:28:33,540 - Mr. Bachman. 682 00:28:33,540 --> 00:28:35,930 - And Heather, the daughter. 683 00:28:35,930 --> 00:28:36,763 - Right. 684 00:28:36,763 --> 00:28:38,970 - What time you getting her home? 685 00:28:38,970 --> 00:28:40,100 - Half past 10. 686 00:28:40,100 --> 00:28:41,450 - No later. 687 00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:43,057 - No, you stay out as long as you want! 688 00:28:43,057 --> 00:28:45,530 Now come on, you'll miss your pre-film bar meal. 689 00:28:45,530 --> 00:28:46,573 Of you go, come on. 690 00:28:48,258 --> 00:28:49,239 And you won't need that. 691 00:28:49,239 --> 00:28:50,072 - Yes I will. 692 00:28:50,072 --> 00:28:50,905 Yes I will. 693 00:28:50,905 --> 00:28:51,822 Yes I will. 694 00:29:24,454 --> 00:29:26,300 - I've just seen mom, looking beautiful. 695 00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:28,093 Going off in another man's car. 696 00:29:29,062 --> 00:29:30,630 - What kind of car were it? 697 00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:31,600 - Jaguar S-Type. 698 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,343 - Hmm, what year? 699 00:29:33,343 --> 00:29:35,500 - Dad, can we not talk about the car? 700 00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:36,657 Can we talk about the women in the car 701 00:29:36,657 --> 00:29:39,280 and the fact that she took her wedding ring off 702 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,250 before she went out. 703 00:29:57,930 --> 00:29:59,490 I've been watching her for the last 10 minutes 704 00:29:59,490 --> 00:30:00,930 and there has been nothing. 705 00:30:00,930 --> 00:30:03,568 Not even eye contact between her and Charlie. 706 00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:05,097 - Well that's good. 707 00:30:05,097 --> 00:30:06,560 - That's awful Ashley. 708 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,110 That's highly suspicious. 709 00:30:08,110 --> 00:30:09,820 Can't believe you don't know that. 710 00:30:09,820 --> 00:30:11,057 - H! 711 00:30:11,057 --> 00:30:12,210 I've got you a drink. 712 00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:14,190 - Ah, Ashley, come and meet everyone. 713 00:30:14,190 --> 00:30:15,090 These are my brothers. 714 00:30:15,090 --> 00:30:16,267 Martin and Kevin. - Hello mate. 715 00:30:16,267 --> 00:30:18,510 - Hi. - And Sarah, Abby and Nathan. 716 00:30:18,510 --> 00:30:20,594 - Didn't recognize you without your trunk mate. 717 00:30:20,594 --> 00:30:25,050 You wouldn't win, but you'd get a few laughs. 718 00:30:25,050 --> 00:30:27,476 - Charlie, who you know. - All right, mate. 719 00:30:27,476 --> 00:30:29,616 - This is my dad, Ken. 720 00:30:29,616 --> 00:30:30,449 Dad? 721 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:37,920 - The competitors, 722 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,610 in tonight's heat of Strictly Come Cov are, 723 00:30:41,610 --> 00:30:45,114 from Binley Woods, Mr. And Mrs. Barry Clow. 724 00:30:47,875 --> 00:30:51,590 From Chapplefield, Mr. Sebastian Clacka 725 00:30:51,590 --> 00:30:53,883 and Miss Georgina Ratatatigan. 726 00:30:56,442 --> 00:30:57,275 From Woolsgrove-- 727 00:30:57,275 --> 00:30:58,598 - Hey. - Hi. 728 00:30:58,598 --> 00:31:00,753 - You look lovely, great earrings. 729 00:31:00,753 --> 00:31:04,300 - Thanks, have you put on weight since the last competition? 730 00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:05,640 - No. - Oh. 731 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:09,090 - From Ernesford Grange, Mr. Carl Tylsley 732 00:31:09,090 --> 00:31:11,113 and Miss Louise Anderson. 733 00:31:12,833 --> 00:31:14,510 - That was cheap. 734 00:31:14,510 --> 00:31:16,370 - Yep, come on Ashley. 735 00:31:16,370 --> 00:31:19,935 - From Radford, Mr. Ashley Roehampton 736 00:31:19,935 --> 00:31:22,982 and Miss Heather McCallister. 737 00:31:31,733 --> 00:31:33,260 - You been here before? 738 00:31:33,260 --> 00:31:34,093 Yes, yes. 739 00:31:34,093 --> 00:31:36,690 I'd come here occasionally with my wife, 740 00:31:36,690 --> 00:31:40,270 before the cinema or theater or a concert. 741 00:31:40,270 --> 00:31:41,963 - What was she like, your wife? 742 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,083 - In what way? 743 00:31:46,350 --> 00:31:47,183 - In everyway. 744 00:31:47,183 --> 00:31:49,250 Was she tall, short? 745 00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:51,730 Did she have an eye patch? 746 00:31:51,730 --> 00:31:52,610 A parrot? 747 00:31:52,610 --> 00:31:53,950 Was she. 748 00:31:53,950 --> 00:31:57,478 Oh, stop me before I make a complete fool of myself. 749 00:31:57,478 --> 00:31:59,750 - Well, she was a teacher. 750 00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:01,810 - Oh, was that how you met? 751 00:32:01,810 --> 00:32:03,603 - No, we met through the parrot. 752 00:32:10,010 --> 00:32:10,843 Do you need to get that? 753 00:32:10,843 --> 00:32:11,676 - No, it's fine. 754 00:32:13,157 --> 00:32:14,423 Sorry, just a second. 755 00:32:17,610 --> 00:32:18,443 - What? 756 00:32:18,443 --> 00:32:19,940 - You're on a date! 757 00:32:19,940 --> 00:32:21,717 - What's it to you if I'm on date? 758 00:32:21,717 --> 00:32:23,041 - So quickly! 759 00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:25,620 You must of been seeing this muggins behind my back! 760 00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:28,410 - Ken, no, I was not seeing a muggins behind your back. 761 00:32:28,410 --> 00:32:30,667 - I bet it's that prat from the school isn't it. 762 00:32:30,667 --> 00:32:32,423 Who give you that book of poetry. 763 00:32:32,423 --> 00:32:34,697 - It is not the prat from the school. 764 00:32:34,697 --> 00:32:35,947 - Oh yes it is! 765 00:32:39,610 --> 00:32:40,893 - So she was a teacher? 766 00:32:41,730 --> 00:32:42,770 - Yes, yes. 767 00:32:42,770 --> 00:32:46,010 - And is this the first date you've had since she died? 768 00:32:46,010 --> 00:32:46,843 - It is, yes. 769 00:32:48,940 --> 00:32:49,773 - One second. 770 00:32:54,965 --> 00:32:58,700 - I am with a man who used to go on dates with his wife 771 00:32:58,700 --> 00:32:59,930 to the cinema. 772 00:32:59,930 --> 00:33:01,970 - I took you to the cinema once. 773 00:33:01,970 --> 00:33:03,550 - It was "Herbie Rides again", 774 00:33:03,550 --> 00:33:06,090 and it was so long ago we go there by tram. 775 00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:09,543 I am with a man who knows how to give a women a good time! 776 00:33:14,177 --> 00:33:16,060 - Are you sure you wanna see the film? 777 00:33:16,060 --> 00:33:17,083 - Yes, I am. 778 00:33:17,919 --> 00:33:19,063 And I hate this hair. 779 00:33:19,930 --> 00:33:21,563 - Well, mess it up then. 780 00:33:27,430 --> 00:33:28,703 And let's go Paulie. 781 00:33:34,410 --> 00:33:35,610 - For our final dance, 782 00:33:35,610 --> 00:33:38,790 can we have our four Flamenco couples please. 783 00:33:38,790 --> 00:33:41,290 - Whatever happens you danced beautifully tonight. 784 00:33:44,210 --> 00:33:46,530 Now, as the dance off continues, 785 00:33:46,530 --> 00:33:50,380 our judge Jefferson will point at the couple to eliminate. 786 00:33:50,380 --> 00:33:52,220 We'll then be left with our winner. 787 00:33:52,220 --> 00:33:55,085 - Come on Heater! - Good luck to you all. 788 00:34:09,010 --> 00:34:10,593 Go Heather! 789 00:34:23,981 --> 00:34:24,844 Well done Heather! 790 00:34:24,844 --> 00:34:27,511 - One's gone - One down Heather. 791 00:34:34,039 --> 00:34:35,199 Yes! 792 00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:36,366 Go on Heather! 793 00:34:48,991 --> 00:34:53,991 Ole! 794 00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:55,866 - That was brilliant, yeah. - Thanks. 795 00:35:55,866 --> 00:35:57,739 So you gonna come round tomorrow midday, yeah. 796 00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:59,030 - Ah yeah, great, oh, I love the music. 797 00:35:59,030 --> 00:36:00,044 That was absolutely great. 798 00:36:00,044 --> 00:36:01,890 Absolutely great. 799 00:36:20,982 --> 00:36:21,815 You're not going to put that 800 00:36:21,815 --> 00:36:23,284 through his windscreen are you? 801 00:36:23,284 --> 00:36:24,784 - That is my wife. 802 00:36:26,356 --> 00:36:27,189 Who are you? 803 00:36:27,189 --> 00:36:29,030 - Vivian, Tommy's wife. 804 00:36:29,030 --> 00:36:31,760 - Oh, hi. 805 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:32,693 - Hi. 806 00:36:32,693 --> 00:36:34,440 You get all prickly, don't you, 807 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,050 when you see them together. 808 00:36:36,050 --> 00:36:37,770 But it passes. 809 00:36:37,770 --> 00:36:39,933 Do you find it passes Mr. Paradise? 810 00:36:40,860 --> 00:36:42,068 - My first time. 811 00:36:42,068 --> 00:36:42,901 - Oh. 812 00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:45,960 Even though I've know, oh almost all my marriage 813 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,939 that to keep a man like Tommy I have to share I him. 814 00:36:49,939 --> 00:36:53,610 But for my marriage to be as good as it is, 815 00:36:53,610 --> 00:36:56,980 I have to let him have a life away from me as well. 816 00:36:56,980 --> 00:36:58,253 - It doesn't sound good. 817 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,933 Your marriage sounds shaky. 818 00:37:01,950 --> 00:37:04,303 - All marriages are vulnerable Mr. Paradise. 819 00:37:05,540 --> 00:37:10,458 Otherwise being married wouldn't be worth anything would it. 820 00:37:18,420 --> 00:37:19,757 - Do you want this? 821 00:37:19,757 --> 00:37:20,783 - I'll have the next one! 822 00:37:21,616 --> 00:37:23,445 - I feel like we should be celebrating. 823 00:37:23,445 --> 00:37:26,420 I feel like we should be parading the trophy 824 00:37:26,420 --> 00:37:28,289 on an open top bus. 825 00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:32,230 - Ashley, bloody, Roehampton! 826 00:37:32,230 --> 00:37:34,483 This is my favorite frock! 827 00:37:36,170 --> 00:37:37,003 - No! 828 00:37:37,003 --> 00:37:39,213 No, no, no. 829 00:37:51,630 --> 00:37:52,463 - Night then. 830 00:37:53,810 --> 00:37:54,643 - Well done tonight. 831 00:37:54,643 --> 00:37:55,733 - And you. 832 00:37:56,930 --> 00:37:57,763 - Night then. 833 00:38:24,023 --> 00:38:26,223 You can come in and get a towel if you want. 834 00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,190 - Yeah, all right. 835 00:38:31,190 --> 00:38:32,530 - Oh, by the time that we'd met. 836 00:38:32,530 --> 00:38:34,360 I'd had a number of girlfriends. 837 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:38,110 - Gail, Lisa, Lisa's sister, Lodwin. 838 00:38:38,110 --> 00:38:41,540 - But I never felt like I'd been in love. 839 00:38:41,540 --> 00:38:42,717 And I said to my mom, I said, 840 00:38:42,717 --> 00:38:44,910 "How do you know when you've fallen in love for real?" 841 00:38:44,910 --> 00:38:49,297 And she said, uh, she said, "Because you do." 842 00:38:49,297 --> 00:38:51,527 "And one day you'll walk into a room 843 00:38:51,527 --> 00:38:53,267 "and they'll be violins playing 844 00:38:53,267 --> 00:38:55,810 "and they'll be trumpets going off and"-- 845 00:38:55,810 --> 00:38:57,660 - And you'll of wandered into a concert hall. 846 00:38:57,660 --> 00:38:58,540 - No. - And the orchestra 847 00:38:58,540 --> 00:38:59,373 will have starting 848 00:38:59,373 --> 00:39:00,817 playing without ya. - No, no. 849 00:39:00,817 --> 00:39:04,378 And it'll be love and I'll be you. 850 00:39:04,378 --> 00:39:05,711 Bang, like that. 851 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:31,743 Well done for tonight. 852 00:39:31,743 --> 00:39:32,576 - Yeah, shh. 853 00:39:42,125 --> 00:39:44,950 - What was the film like? 854 00:39:44,950 --> 00:39:46,690 - Quite interesting. 855 00:39:46,690 --> 00:39:48,490 Everyone was very young. 856 00:39:48,490 --> 00:39:50,690 Nice costumes, quite loud. 857 00:39:50,690 --> 00:39:54,070 - Pauline, I'm not interested in the film at all. 858 00:39:54,070 --> 00:39:54,903 Did he give it a go? 859 00:39:54,903 --> 00:39:57,530 - Rowan. - Oh come on, it's fun. 860 00:39:57,530 --> 00:39:59,690 Are you seeing him again? - He said he'd call. 861 00:39:59,690 --> 00:40:00,523 - Okay, when? 862 00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:01,356 - I don't know. 863 00:40:01,356 --> 00:40:04,080 - Well, if he doesn't text within a day he's a swine. 864 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,620 And if he doesn't call within, he's off your list. 865 00:40:06,620 --> 00:40:08,230 - I hardly have a list. 866 00:40:08,230 --> 00:40:09,770 - I'm making one for you. 867 00:40:09,770 --> 00:40:11,670 - Well I'm off then? - Where? 868 00:40:11,670 --> 00:40:13,220 - To see Grandpa Frank. 869 00:40:13,220 --> 00:40:15,779 - I'll come with you if you give me half an hour. 870 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:20,010 - He's not a swine. 871 00:40:20,010 --> 00:40:22,060 He's not a swine Paulie. 872 00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:22,893 - It's Ken. 873 00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:27,320 Roses are red, violets are blue, 874 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,713 I'm doing car but thinking of you. 875 00:40:37,150 --> 00:40:39,350 Probably took him all morning to write that. 876 00:40:57,605 --> 00:40:58,438 - Hi. 877 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:00,273 - Hi. 878 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,020 - Last night shouldn't of happened Ashley. 879 00:41:05,070 --> 00:41:06,300 Sorry. 880 00:41:06,300 --> 00:41:07,133 - Okay. 881 00:41:08,755 --> 00:41:09,773 - Are you sorry? 882 00:41:10,852 --> 00:41:11,685 - Don't know. 883 00:41:11,685 --> 00:41:13,970 - Oh, don't say that you big fool. 884 00:41:13,970 --> 00:41:15,027 - Oh no, you're right, you're right. 885 00:41:15,027 --> 00:41:15,880 It should of happened, it shouldn't. 886 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,873 But something was gonna happen wasn't it. 887 00:41:18,970 --> 00:41:19,920 I love you Heather. 888 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,320 I love everything about you and I have done for a long time. 889 00:41:25,340 --> 00:41:27,983 I love the way you look, the way you talk. 890 00:41:29,380 --> 00:41:32,410 How you get stroppy, how you make me laugh. 891 00:41:32,410 --> 00:41:33,273 You're eyes. 892 00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:37,160 I love seeing you every day and I can't help thinking, 893 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,240 if things had been different things would be different. 894 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:41,230 And I've seen you think that. 895 00:41:41,230 --> 00:41:43,390 And I think that maybe, maybe. 896 00:41:43,390 --> 00:41:45,310 If you thought about that magazine article 897 00:41:45,310 --> 00:41:47,120 it wouldn't be Charlie, 898 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,520 it would somebody who looked like me 899 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,163 that you've been matched up with. 900 00:42:18,558 --> 00:42:19,391 - Yes! 901 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,890 You're mom used to draw. 902 00:42:34,890 --> 00:42:36,660 When she was tiny she'd come and stay 903 00:42:36,660 --> 00:42:39,713 and she'd draw me meadows full of wild flowers. 904 00:42:44,810 --> 00:42:47,580 - Oh hello love, I've come to change a faulty alarm. 905 00:42:47,580 --> 00:42:50,293 - Right, come on. 906 00:42:52,540 --> 00:42:54,650 It's just up there. - Oh, right. 907 00:43:00,504 --> 00:43:02,189 - Terry David, how you doing my man? 908 00:43:02,189 --> 00:43:03,022 - Ah, good to see you 909 00:43:03,022 --> 00:43:04,016 again mate. - You all right? 910 00:43:04,016 --> 00:43:05,683 Good to see you man. 911 00:43:28,927 --> 00:43:33,453 - Out, into the palace of dreams come the Sky Blues. 912 00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:39,110 With today's opponents scared to death by the voracity 913 00:43:39,110 --> 00:43:40,620 of the crowds raw. 914 00:43:40,620 --> 00:43:43,383 Very, very excited by today's match up. 915 00:43:45,077 --> 00:43:47,453 We're all right aren't we, H? 916 00:43:47,453 --> 00:43:48,953 - Yeah, of course.